I am sending deep love to my Palestinian and Israeli communities. The loss of loved ones, attacks on innocent lives, and the seizure of basic needs (water, food, healthcare supplies etc) is a humanitarian crisis. To have a heart is to know that this cannot be ignored especially for my fellow adoptees who are feeling this conflict within their identity, perspective outlook, and households.

Free Palestine.

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We can’t ignore our identities or the conflict that is happening in the world. My professor used to tell my class, “The only reason “international conflict” is called “international conflict” is because it is not happening where you currently are.”

Many of us adoptees hold intersecting identities. Intersectionality is the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group. We may feel pain in one of our identities but not know how to ask for help navigating through that challenge.

This happens often when world conflict occurs and we are connected to that conflict. The families we are adopted within might not acknowledge that connection or have different harmful views.

For my Black adoptees who also hold identities in other nations, cultures, and ethnicities – I want to share some tips and reminders that can help you navigate this time in your homes and provide mental wellness. As always, I love you and I hope this helps those who need.

1. Remember that feeling helplessness, anxiety, and sadness is normal when experiencing conflict on a world stage. You do not have to hold those feelings in – find an outlet. Whether it’s a journal, a person, or a support community you trust – allow yourself to release your feelings to avoid them consuming you.
2. Understand that it is not your job to educate your adoptive parents if they misunderstand you. You can share credible resources, tag your other family members for support, or call your family social worker or therapist available. Those are a few options. Sometimes when we try to educate, it ends up being a debate when in crisis. It’s not the time for that.
3. Get fresh air daily. Media can consume you. Trauma can consume you. Feel the air on your skin and touch something that brings calmness to your senses. I’ve been working with my students for the last two weeks engaging with their senses as they navigate this conflict while also being a student.
4. Dedicate a space in the house where you feel seen and safe. Maybe that’s a nook in the kitchen, your porch, your bedroom, or your backyard. Whatever home looks like for you, find a spot so you can make space for your identities every day.
5. Know that your identities are not erased. You can acknowledge one and feel pain with another. Some of us adoptees do not know our histories and lineage until later in life. We are still getting to know them and when conflict arises where we have a connection- there may be a feeling to disown or feel ashamed. You do not have to erase yourself
6. Lean on the support groups you trust whether in your community or online.
7. Schedule times to eat during your day especially as news presents itself.

These are suggested tips when dealing with world conflict in the household as an adoptee. Please know these suggestions and reminders are rooted in love first. It is ignorant to think world conflict doesnt affect our everyday lives. We can care for ourselves and others in a human way.

May this resonate and I will see you in my next post.

From a coffee shop with love,

Teisha