Who Do You Want to Be in 2025?

The way he asks me these questions makes me feel… seen. My younger self feels seen, too, and I’m not sure if I welcome it or if it scares me. I put down the magazine I was flipping through, took a sip of my tea, and looked at him.

I decided to say out loud what I’d posted on Spill earlier (by the way, have you downloaded it yet?):

“I want a relaxed nervous system and a sound mind.”

He didn’t miss a beat. Intently staring at me, he said:

“Okay, are you ready to break down how you’ll achieve that?”

Y’all, I wasn’t ready. But I knew it was a goal that couldn’t just float in my head—it needed a plan. And there I was, sitting in Barnes & Noble, sipping chamomile tea with way too much milk (seriously, who does that?), about to unpack one of my most personal goals. All while debating whether I’d actually buy the three books in my cart.

Was I really ready to let go?

2024 was a groundbreaking year for me. Solitude forced me to sit still. Anxiety played games with me daily. I was holding on to love that wasn’t healthy—so toxic, I had to double-check myself. But it was also the year I grew closer to God. I cried daily, and honestly? It was freeing.

How can one feel so powerful yet so weak in the same breath?

Love was built within me this year, and here’s what I learned along the way:

• Do not depend on external validation. Crowds will come and go, but your inner validation? That’s daily and consistent.
• God is the foundation. Learning faith and religion for myself as an adult—rather than what I was taught as a child—has helped me hear God more clearly. I’m letting Him lead the way, even when it feels scary.
• Growing in community is key. When I finally opened up about my struggles, I started healing with the help of trusted individuals. I realized I didn’t have to do it all alone.
• Taking one step is better than taking none. Even the smallest steps move you forward.
• I survived every one of my hardest days.

Eventually, we did break down what a relaxed nervous system and a sound mind would look like. And for the first time, I could actually see it—it felt possible.

Maybe that’s the point of this entry: to remind you that whatever you seek is possible, even if it looks a little different when it happens.

Oh – an always buy the books.

From my room, with love,

Teisha