You know what? I get it. Life wasn’t fair. You look around and see your sister returned to foster care. Another sister gets to live with the “cool” aunt. You’re stuck going to private school in the county while cousins treat you like an outsider. It’s frustrating. It’s unfair.

But here’s the truth: this is your reality. And over time, you’ll discover that this reality gives us lessons we can apply in adulthood—lessons that turn into gifts.

You might be thinking, Teisha, what does that even mean? Let me break it down.

1. Sibling Rivalry as a Teacher
Sibling rivalry in kinship adoption comes from feeling like you got the short end of the stick. Maybe you didn’t get placed in the “cool” house, maybe your foundations were different, and it feels insulting. And yes, it makes you angry. But what it teaches is emotional intelligence: understanding your feelings, regulating intense comparisons, and redefining what sibling means for you. As you grow, you learn to see your siblings clearly, beyond the drama.

2. Adaptability as a Superpower
Growing up between different worlds—inner city streets and more affluent neighborhoods—taught me how to adapt. I learned to be book-smart and street-smart, often at the same time. Kinship adoptees constantly move between family, friends, and households. That adaptability, though sometimes frustrating, becomes a superpower in adulthood. It’s what allows us to navigate complex environments and thrive in spaces others might find challenging.

3. Observation as a Skill
People aren’t as observant anymore, but we’ve had to be. From reading body language and schedules to adjusting our behavior for comfort, observation has always been part of our survival toolkit. The awareness we developed as kids—of people, spaces, and emotions—is a skill that keeps us flowing in rooms others can’t even imagine. Own it.

Life as a kinship adoptee may not have been fair. But fairness isn’t the point. The point is: how can we take what we were given—what we experienced—and use it to level the board in adulthood?

Reframe your story. Your experiences aren’t a setback—they’re your superpower.

Until next time. From my writing corner with love,

Teish