What does traditional family look like?

I searched for answers on TV screens, in books, and even in my own neighborhood. Everyone seemed to have two parents in the house. One did pick-up, the other did drop-off. They went on grocery store runs together and looked like they loved each other.

They sat on the beach and watched the sunset, or they went to Ocean City for boardwalk fries. “Traditional” lowkey looked like the modern white family.

But as I grew up, I realized not everyone had that—it only looked that way. A shift in mindset was definitely needed.

Being Black is so beautiful, and our households have the power to be sanctuaries. Our households might not mirror what society deems “traditional,” and that’s exactly why we must create our own.

Families are not the same. I wish I had been asked this question sooner, because it would have changed how I viewed family—what it’s “supposed” to be versus what it really is and can be.

Families have the power to shift and redirect. In the adoptee community, I’ve noticed families often replace traditions instead of extending them. But the truth is—you can’t erase what’s already built inside you.

“Family is connection, and you can build traditions with almost anyone.”

If you ask me what a traditional family looks like now, as I navigate my early 30s, I’d say this:

It’s where I feel peace. It’s in the daily texts with my grandmother. It’s in the spontaneous FaceTime calls with my sister. It’s in the quiet kitchen sits with my mother. It’s in the GIFs, the updates during phone calls, and the balance of knowing my limits while still staying connected—near or far.

So yes, I believe a traditional family can be whatever I choose to make it if I decide to build one of my own. But until then, I love my version of a traditional family.

I’m happy here.

from my writing corner with love,

Teish