From my personal files, to remind you that I’m human —- just like you,

I think it’s time I fully stop trying to be an image people want me to be. This evening, I was in the shower—one of those showers where you’re not rushing, just standing there letting the water run over you. The kind where your subconscious finally gets the space to speak. And by time I was done, I walked out feeling inspired, feeling new. Feeling clean (but also like girl, I love the new Olay).

I like the woman I am. Like I really like her. I really like you?

Wait am I writing in third person for this entry?

Anyway:

I don’t enjoy huge crowds; I prefer intimate settings. I find comfort in books and making coffee. People genuinely interest me, and I was raised to understand them, but if I’m being honest, people can also be exhausting. I’ve learned that I need time alone to recharge and come back to myself. This season has exhausted me. I want to be alone.

For a long time, I felt guilty about that. I’m the kind of friend who feels the most peace in her bedroom, writing, or simply being still. I do enjoy being with others, but only in environments that feel aligned with who I am. I’ve pushed myself into uncomfortable spaces to grow this year, and while I value growth, I realized that somewhere along the way I started questioning my own identity. And then it hit me—I actually like who I am.

I like that I can learn and expand without losing myself. Environment matters. Who I am matters. My hobbies excite me, and I no longer want to feel ashamed of that. I like being in front of the camera. I like talking, hosting small events, connecting with people 1:1, and being a little quirky. And that’s okay.

I’m also okay with changing my mind and evolving as I come into myself. This season feels like shedding something old and stepping into something new. Sometimes coming home isn’t about a place—it’s about returning to yourself. For me, that looks like trying new makeup in the mirror, writing in another journal, creating art that reflects me, filling my room with plants, and learning to honor quiet even though I talk a lot. I love the quiet. I love becoming.

I’m genuinely happy I get to meet myself over and over again.