Adopted Black Girl

Changing your mind is hard. And sometimes, that’s exactly why you stay in the same place. Actually – it is the reason you are in the same place.

You already know how difficult it is to shift directions, so instead of taking the next step, you return to what feels familiar. Comfort becomes the hiding place — not because it’s right, but because it’s known.

Here’s the truth: I’m going to show you how to pivot without feeling stuck or powerless.

As adoptees, we are no strangers to change. So much of our childhoods — and even our young adult years — were shaped by decisions we didn’t get to make. Because of that, we can’t pretend change isn’t part of our story. It is. And yet, even knowing this, pivoting can still feel terrifying. Change without our own control — hard pass.

I’ll be honest: I’ve been afraid to pivot too. Afraid to change my mind. Afraid of what would happen next. I made decisions anyway — and while that worked for me, I know it doesn’t feel that simple for everyone.

So let’s talk about what happens when you don’t know how to pivot. When fear takes over. When you feel stuck.

First, it’s okay to say:

I’m scared. I don’t know what to do.

That honesty matters.

Whether it’s your job, your relationships, your business, or your personal life — taking the next step is hard. But not taking it is harder.

The real fear isn’t the decision itself. It’s what you think will happen after you decide.

You’re afraid of the outcome.

You’re afraid you won’t be able to control it.

I get that.

But that fear is what’s keeping you stuck.

So here’s what you do.

Step One: Identify the fear.

Ask yourself why making decisions feels unsafe. What happened in the past that taught you to hesitate?

Were you ignored?

Pushed aside?

Left without support, encouragement, or tools to succeed?

You cannot create meaningful steps forward if you don’t understand what’s holding you back.

Step Two: Make one small decision this week.

Just one.

Dinner. The gym. A phone call. A walk. A workout. A commute.

It doesn’t matter how small it is — what matters is that you decide.

When you follow through on that decision, you’re teaching your brain that change is not dangerous. That movement is safe. That growth is possible.

Change is okay.

Change is powerful.

If you want something better, something different, something you’ve never had — it will require doing something you’ve never done. And yes I know, we’ve all heard that before, but when will we act on it.

So keep this practice going.

Fourteen days. Thirty if you can.

Small decisions add up. The details matter more than you think.

As adoptees, decision-making may have been taken from us early on. But now, we get to choose.

So I’ll leave you with this:

Do you want to stay stuck — or do you want to pivot?

Choosing either one is still a decision.

I’ll see you in my next blog.

With love, from my writing corner,

Teish