In the world of foster care and adoption, there is a path that often goes unspoken, yet it is woven into the very fabric of the Black community: Kinship Care.
Kinship care is when a child is raised by a grandparent, an aunt, an older sibling, or even a close family friend (often called “fictive kin”). It is an act of deep love and cultural preservation. It’s the “village” stepping up to ensure that even when a home life shifts, the family roots remain intact. This definition is what you’ll see among most Google searches. Now let’s get deeper:
Kinship care isn’t just “living with grandma.” It’s a complex journey filled with unique joys and heavy challenges. I grew up with my cousin and it wasn’t always easy processing most emotions.
The greatest gift of kinship care is the “mirror’. When you are raised by kin, you don’t have to wonder where your laugh comes from or why your hair grows the way it does. Your history is sitting across the breakfast table from you. This continuity is a powerful shield against the identity erasure that so many adoptees face.
However, kinship care can also feel like a tightrope walk. Let me break it down in bullets for you:
• Role Confusion: How do you navigate your family member suddenly becoming your “parental figure”?
• The “Looming” Bio-Parent: Unlike traditional adoption, biological parents are often still present at family gatherings or holidays, which can create a confusing emotional tug-of-war.
• The Support Gap: Kinship caregivers often receive less financial and social support than traditional foster parents.
You might think you’re alone, but if you’re also a Black kinship adoptee, let me tell you – you are part of a massive, resilient community. But you need more than just “love” to thrive—you need resources.
But for now, know your story is valid. You are apart of the adoptee community and it is okay to feel grateful for your family while also feeling sad about the “why” behind your arrangement.
You can love the village that raised you while still needing space to process your own narrative.
I’ll share kinship care resources in my next post!
From my writing corner with love,
Teish
Adopted Black Girl 