There’s power in repair, and there’s power in moving forward. But before you can reach either of those stages, you have to pause, look in the mirror, and ask yourself two honest questions:
1. What do I need to repair from?
2. What do I need to move forward with?
If you’re new here, my name is Teisha. I write specifically for Black girls and women who’ve been adopted or experienced the foster care system.
Over the weekend, I found myself reflecting heavily on this topic of direction because I recently started a series on practicing how to be more direct on Instagram.
Breaking the “Perfection” Trap
If you’re anything like me, growing up in a household where you felt pressure to be perfect probably taught you to suppress your real thoughts. You might have hesitated to say how you actually felt out of fear—fear of getting talked back to, fear of conflict, or just fear of being labeled a “problem.”
Because of that, learning to be direct took me years to navigate. But at some point, I made a conscious choice: I decided to stop being misunderstood.
Through this series I’ve been sharing, I’ve realized a fundamental truth: To be direct with others, you first have to be direct with yourself.
Most of the time, when I am being indirect with myself, it’s simply because I don’t want to feel what’s right in front of me.
I don’t want to sit in the hurt, the sadness, or even the heavy moments. So, I default to indirectness as a coping mechanism—hoping I can just gloss over it and keep moving.
But I don’t keep moving and you probably don’t either. We find ourselves just stuck.
Finding your way back to yourself isn’t going to happen by lying to yourself.
Repairing a relationship in your life won’t happen by ignoring reality.
Moving forward into new seasons won’t occur if you’re built on self-deception.
Being direct with the world requires total honesty with yourself first.
Over to you: How are you planning on being direct with yourself this week? Drop your thoughts in the comments below—and thank you for reading!
From a coffee shop with love,
Teish
Adopted Black Girl 